- Direct link: http://testsubjectsneeded.com
These are not conventional experiments. Qualified test subjects volunteering their person for sensory based research will undergo enhanced amplifications as sensory reliant human beings. The outcomes of these experiments will provide experiential data on the effects of said studies on the body and mind of test subjects: the very finest and most rigorously obtained data from healthy test subjects chosen for their special capacity for excelling in said experiments. The specific nature and details of these activities will remain strictly verboten to test subjects excerpt at times when it becomes explicitly and unequivocally necessary, such as when the test subject is close to imminent transformational occurrences. Those involved will show an extraordinary commitment, cooperation and discretion in conducting these unconventional experiments, with a peculiar yet outstanding dedication that sets them apart. Following all instruction when and where given throughout the course of this series of experiments will afford test subjects opportunity to open and expand their sensorial faculties and ensure safety during the complete overhaul of their sensory capacities and capabilities. Test subject senses may not function as they are commonly understood to, and therefore may result in accelerated stimulation during, throughout, and indeed long after the conclusion of these unconventional experiments. Please remember that those with advanced understanding of the flexibility with regards to common laws of physics (E.G. gravity, inertia) are kindly asked to refrain from participating in the unconventional experiment. Necessary parties, such as authorized test subject researchers, scientists, biologists, audiologists, optometrists, or test subjects, anthropologists, on an ad-hoc basis. Also note that we guarantee that no warranties or assurances are or will be provided to test subjects regarding the sensory capacities of any individual qualified as a test subjects, and any association test subjects may find between their experiences during these experiments and such phenomena as: heightened consciousness, sensory euphoria, ambidexterity, reverse color blindness, auditory night visions, tactile revelations, olfactory enlightenment or hair growth are completely coincidental. Adhering to all instructions when and where given throughout the course of this series of experiments will afford you the opportunity to open all doors and unexplored facilities in your realm of understanding. When the counter above hits zero the time will come for you to volunteer your services to the Human Preservation Project. Test subjects are needed now. You are needed now.